Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Recently, I posted that I was trying to figure out a workable schedule for myself that would allow me to accomplish all the things in a day that I wanted to do. After much pondering and much anxiety that it put on me when I was trying to order my day in a way that I thought I could, I finally loosened the reins and "settled" for a big variation. Ahhh, the relief that that brought. And I found myself actually enjoying and looking forward to doing the things that were putting (self inflicted) pressure on me, resulting in a lot of stress and disappointment in myself because I couldn't seem to manage to "do it all".
I originally wanted to try and treat my apron business like a part time job, eventually working it full time job hours (8 a day, Monday through Friday). I wanted to work it during the day while my husband and daughter were at school and work. I figured I would do housework and errands in the evenings, just as I would have to do if I were working outside the home. And each day, I would wake with those lofty goals ahead of me and each day never quite panned out like I wanted it to. So many things "needed" doing during the day and I never would quite make it to the sewing room. Each day would come to a close with me feeling stressed about it, not having sewn one stitch, and thinking about the fact that I failed. Again. And that resulted in me not enjoying the time when my family was home because I was dwelling on the "problem" and trying to figure out a way to "fix" it. And not enjoying the time when I did sew, instead feeling pressured by it. And that's NOT what I wanted.
Well one day, the clouds (in my mind) parted and the sun shone on a new concept for ordering my day. I wanted so many things: I wanted to do it all AND enjoy my family and my life. But how?
Well, I'll just begin by saying I had to give myself permission to embrace the season my life is in right now and work with what I've got. I think this bible verse helped me to see that light and put things in perspective:
From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. Act 17:26 NIV
What I took from that was the saying "bloom where you are planted". I needed to quit swimming against the current, quit trying to covet and live someone else's life, and enjoy these very moments that I have been given. Enjoy these very precious people that he has placed in my life. Because children grow up & move away and loved ones can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. I decided to put my priorities back in place: God, family, work, everything else. And you know what? Now each day feels delicious, luxurious and just right.
I don't aspire to sew four hours a day, or even eight. I sew in the evenings with my daughter in the room with me and we listen to music or she might watch an old video from our archives while my machine hums away in the background. After I've spent some time with hubby & we've had dinner (& he'd just as soon be able to watch his sports & programs & decompress from his day at work anyway.) We're all under the same roof and that is comforting and enough and it suits us to a tee. It's our family's rhythm and we like it just fine.
There may come a day when sewing four to eight hours a day is doable AND enjoyable. But that day isn't now. And each day, I will hold my plans loosely, because sometimes God has different plans for my day. And those are ALWAYS much more wonderful than anything I could've come up with (:
If I had to sum up the lesson learned here in just one sentence I think it would be this: When we are doing what we're put on this earth for, we feel at peace with our lives.
Proverbs 10:22 Amplified Bible (AMP)-
The blessing of the Lord--it makes [truly] rich, and He adds no sorrow with it [neither does toiling increase it].
Just for fun, here's a peek into my old & new daily to do's: